While packing, I happened across an old journal. It starts on the first day that I was in Pottersfield Ranch (June 2005), and ends in mid-January while I was in Hollywood. I thumbed through it, laughing sometimes... rolling my eyes others. Even cried in a few passages. It's amazing how full-circle things can be.
The following was written in late October of 2005. I had forgotten all about this passage until I had uncovered it from within the dusty cover of this leather-bound journal. It was a very sincere (all-be it rare) entry of supplication and praise. It was a very sincere prayer then, and I'm posting it as a renewed prayer in my life now.
"God is so absolutely incredible. How did I ever live without Him? I guess the only way was that I didn't know what I was missing. I know that God rushes to my side. He waits to see my eyes open in the morning, and kisses them asleep at night. He delights in sending me "love notes" to make me smile.
He holds me steady in times of trouble and holds me close in my misery.
He loves me in my weakness, instead of in spite of my weakness, and then redeems my imperfections into priceless jewels of my personality. With His pierced hand, He wipes away the iniquities of my heart, along with the tears on my cheek. He fervently searches in the darkness for me, and rejoices when I am found.
His heart beats out the rhythm for my song; the ballad I love to sing. He breaks concrete to plant a flower for me; He stops traffic so I may safely cross; He pushes away clouds so I can see the sun.
His pleasure comes from my smile, He lives to hear my laughter, and He silences all of heaven as my whispers of "I love You, Lord" resounds off the mountains and echoes in the valleys of His heart.
He cloaked His own glory in wrappings of flesh, knowing the evil in my heart would send Him to the grave. And from the grave, He came back for my hand in marriage, for He died to conquer my death so that it could never separate us again.
Search out the darkness of my heart. Evict the fear from my mind like you throw out demons from Your Presence. Burn away my iniquities and tear down strongholds with Your hands. Let all that I am shout out Your praise. Let my gown be Your glory, and my crown be Your praise. Let Your love pour from my eyes and Your grace drip from my lips.
Engulf me with Your burning passion, for You are my King and my greatest desire!"